Chapter 1
THE ARCHMAGE SPOTTED ON NEWLY FORMED BONE PLANET - YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!
By Stanie Lunnsdt for UniverseCryptidWatch.org
On 3-17, there were multiple reports of sightings of The Archmage in the aftermath of that abomination we all know of finally showing himself for the monster he was. According to eyewitness reports, they arrived approximately half an hour after the last of the meteors fell.
At first, they ignored the trapped soldiers and civilians. They seemed utterly distracted by everything else that was happening, up to and including the way the waves just kept receding further and further and further away. After some time of staring up at the sky, they seemed to reach an internal decision and turned and actually aided the survivors that were in the immediate area. They did nothing to actually stop the planet from becoming a Bone Planet, but it does mean that there are survivors of the meteor shower and the universe’s most deadly tantrum.
When asked when they started to care about civilians at all, The Archmage bound me in a spell and shuffled me off with the rest of the survivors into a spaceship that had no displayed name. And that’s why I’m here now folks! Here on Ilverth, since it was the closest planet to our former home. When I look out the window now, I can see it – the dead remains of my home. The Bone Planet now known as Trickery’s Sight. It’s already gone hostile, and yes – dearest readers of mine – I am also one of those eye witness accounts! Isn’t it fascinating? One of the universe’s many cryptids, in the flesh!
Can confirm that they’re grumpy af, that expression was full on crabby. According to the records I was looking at (totes legal records this time, I swear!) it’s been around six hundred and fourteen or so years since they were awake last. Last time they were awake, they stuck around for a while – so maybe they’ll even stick around even longer this time! Wouldn’t that be awesome folks? They really didn’t seem too bad, considering the whole fact that they saved folks. Maybe the grumpiness is overstated?
Boone (He/Him) @TheyCanBoneMyPlanet | 3-18-4733, 11:11 AM:
Maybe the grumpiness is overstated??? Hon just admit you thought they were hot like the rest of us. They can be grumpy and hot at the same time.
Stanie Lunnsdt (She/Her) @ULTRASTAN | 3-18-4733, 11:13 AM:
Well, okay, there’s also that, but beeteedubs they saved folks this time. It’s been a long time since they did that! It’s gotta mean something!
Encyclopedia = best light reading (She/Her) @knowledgehoarder | 3-18-4733, 11:19 AM:
Maybe it just means they were bored. Some villains will do that. Just randomly save civvies because they’re bored.
Stanie Lunnsdt (She/Her) @ULTRASTAN | 3-18-4733, 11:21 AM:
Don’t you dare lump The Archmage in with garden variety villains who wouldn’t know a good fashion choice or a good idea if it […Click to read more…]
Boone (He/Him) @TheyCanBoneMyPlanet | 3-18-4733, 11:22 AM:
Ah hell, there she goes. Stanie’s off the starting line now. Move along folks, the comments section here is as good as done for. Nothing constructive is gonna happen here now.
Stanie Lunnsdt (She/Her) @ULTRASTAN | 3-18-4733, 11:25 AM:
And furthermore, if you had a single braincell in your festering abscess you call a brain, you would have noticed that The Archmage […Click to read more…]
See, this is why you don’t engage with *reporters* in their own comments section.
And the Archmage is very attractive but don’t mistake that for available. Or a hero. Or anything but apathetically neutral.
That’s what happens when [DATA EXPUNGED] to your [REDACTED] y’know.
[Edit]: Hey! Who redacted my comments?!
@TheyCanBoneMyPlanet is a dope ass handle I want it x’DDD
And lol the image of The Archmage having to deal with cryptid hunters is hilarious